Good-bye to 2012: My year in pictures and posts

2012: can you say "Roller Coaster"?

I know, I know, I know! I'm supposed to be looking strictly forward, not backwards any more by now, nearly one full week into the new year.

But still... the other day, at the end of 2012, while putting up my annual "Best of Blog" post, I realized that while it may showcase my best writing of the year, it didn't really tell the story of how my LIFE went in 2012. I then had promised that post - this post - "tomorrow." But then life got... lifey, you know (kids home on school vacation! autism! ADD! my mother! blah, blah, blah...) and it didn't get finished.

So today I will remedy that, sharing with you the high- (and low-) lights of my 2012. In other words...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

The year started off busy.

I was co-producing the first annual New York City Listen to Your Mother Show (working with a wonderful team of women), and we announced auditions in January, held them in February, finalized the cast in early March.  I wrote a bit about the process here: LTYM-NYC has made a busy bee out of me. 

There were also production logistics and sponsorship details. And oh, I was also the webmistress of the very active LTYM-NYC website. Busy, busy, busy.

Which was a good thing, as these last few years winter has been a very tough season for me, dragging me into the abyss, as it is now so psychically interwoven with my father's long drawn out death three years ago. That, however, was the impetus to begin my blog, and thus in February I had my 2 year blogaversary...

Which I completely failed to blog about as I was so busy with LTYM-NYC.

Dad & Me, Riverside Park, 1998

I did, however, blog about those other anniversaries: my father's passing on March 13th: Two Years and what would have been his 95th birthday on March 25th: Not my Father's 95th Birthday post

LTYM-NYC 2012 1st read-through

Also in March, however, LTYM came to the rescue and lifted me up out of my mourning with a wonderful rehearsal (so much talent!): Tales from the LTYM Rehearsal

Throughout this time, there were still, of course, the children.

Jake's drawing  of "a guy," 2012

Jake was drawing. A lot. And doing some pretty amazing work for a then not yet 10 year-old (with autism, no less). I shared quite a bit of his work in posts like these: Art and Autism and An Autist and an Artist  and More from Jacob's Batman files

Ethan looking very Dylan-esque, 2012

Ethan was... being Ethan. His usual combination of bright, delightful and exasperating. Also often sleepless, as documented here: Go (the F) to sleep, Ethan. (until we discovered the magic of melatonin, later in the year).

Ethan + melatonin = falls asleep before midnight - yay!

April was, as always, Autism Awareness month. So I wrote a lot about autism, and my wonderful autistic son Jacob, including: My 1 in 88 and Still Aware and Still Accepting

Jake 2012 from

One Face of Autism

And then there was May....

May 2012 was a watershed month for me. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

The high?

Cast of 2012 Listen to Your Mother Show

New York City's Listen to Your Mother show was performed on May 5th: Listen to Your Mother - an amazing ride!

I was the producer and I read my piece: "Holding Hands" - about a quiet moment with my elderly mother. (See the video here: "Holding Hands")

It was a wonderful experience, deeply fulfilling.

AND? I published a post about my experience in... THE NEW YORK TIMES Motherlode blog: A ‘Sandwich Generation’ Caregiver Heads Back to Work

But then, at the end of the month?

My mother in the ICU, May 2012

On May 25th life changed irreparably in the opposite direction: my mother fell, broke her hip,  had surgery. She nearly died, went through various rehabs, but never fully recovered.

My life became about taking care of her and figuring out how and where she was going to live out the rest of her life, and since then supporting her in the Long Island nursing home she became a permanent resident of in August.

Oh, and continuing to be a mother to my own kids throughout this all, too, of course.

Well, summer wasn't all doom & gloom. In the middle of all this I had a funny guest post published: I am Aiming Low today!

Also in July? My sons, they turned... TEN!!!!!!

E & J at 10 - & impossible to get them in one photo together!

And, yeah, I wrote about that: Last Day of Nine and Counting up to TEN!

August was BlogHer, once again in NYC - thank goodness because i could not possibly have traveled away from my mother this year.

Me reading "Holding Hands" as a VOTY at BlogHer12

And I was honored by being one of the "Voices of the Year" keynote speakers at BlogHer: Listen to the Voices. An AMAZING experience: First Thoughts on BlogHer '12

And then it was Vacation and camps and "adventures" (If it's not one thing, it's a flat tire and 103 fever.) including lots and lots of driving -- all the late summer madness.

Plus, my mother?

She FELL and landed in the hospital. Right in the middle of all of this. Of course.

September saw the return to school (there IS a god) for Ethan (First Day of Fifth Grade) and Jacob (Hopeful about the New School Year), my mother's 90th birthday, and I was on Huffpost Live! talking about Sandwich Generation issues, naturally.

The rest of the fall was more Sandwich Generation juggle...

Getting a call while I was with my family at The Harlem Globetrotters that my mother was being shipped off for observation at a mental hospital for threatening to kill herself with a butter knife. (You just can't make this stuff up, people!)

Katie and me

But also I was an invited guest blogger at The Katie Couric Show (Sandwich Generation topic, of course): Amy Grant talks (and sings) about Caring for Aging Parents on Katie Couric, and I was there...   And wrote a guest post for Katie's blog: Caring For My Aging Parents

October was also NY Comic Con and Halloween and, of course The Hurricane (Running before the storm) which left us unscathed but me feeling Survivor Guilt.

I blog-yelled at Ann Coulter for using the "R-word": Dear Ann Coulter: This is who you insult with your...

And then in November, Obama got reelected, which mattered to me a great deal: A Democratic Process

Mom and her brother, my Uncle Walter

And I was able to spring my mother from the home & bring her out to my Aunt & Uncle's house for (day after) Thanksgiving, which was wonderful: Second Thanksgiving 

In December I struggled.

But there WAS Hanukkah!

Ethan chanting the candle-lighting blessing (Hebrew School paying off)

 
And then Newtown happened, and I came a bit undone. But then the amazing Autism Shines movement sprang up to counteract the media distortions depicting autism as "dangerous" and autistics as potential violent killers.

I am proud to say my friends put this together and I was a part of spreading the word, with my posts This is Jacob. This is autism. and Autism Shines On.

Oh, one final thing I am happy and proud of... throughout this year I have done a regular monthly feature - a Round-Up of What I Loved on OTHER People's Blogs. I love curating and helping to create community.

And now? Now? It's a New Year! Looking forward at last. (Whew!)

2012 Round-up: What I Loved on OTHER People's Blogs

Walking into the Light by Neil Kramer

Well, I so enjoyed doing my 2011 Round-Up last year that I decided to make an annual tradition of it... gathering together some of the fabulous blog posts I've found on OTHER people's blogs, the ones that have moved me to laughter, tears, astonishment, or action (possibly all four) and sharing them with you all.

So right away, at the beginning of 2012, I started making note of posts I liked, thinking all I would have to do at the end of the year was hit "publish."  But then I found that in January alone I'd picked twelve great posts, and realized I would have a list of well over a hundred by the year's end.

Thus the monthly Round-Up feature on my blog was born.

But this... THIS HERE is the big guns, the annual version!

Enhanced this year with photos by my very, very, very favorite intstagram photographer, Neil Kramer - of the blog  Citizen of the Month - who I am also very happy to call my friend. He lives in both NYC and LA and also travels a good bit, so prepare to be amazed and amused.

Standing by Fountain by Neil Kramer

Once again, please note that this is an idiosyncratic, quirky and very, VERY incomplete list. (Because you are not going to slog through the 150 or so posts I gathered in my monthly Round-Ups in one sitting now, are you?)

Also, once again, if you know I love you and you're not on the list this year? Please know that there were so many, many more posts I adored, but at a certain point I just had to stop myself cold turkey. Because I HAD to finish this round-up and not keep opening it up again whilst slapping myself upside the head and declaring: "How could I have forgotten to include THAT amazing post!" and stuffing yet another in.

So please feel free to add a link to your one of your favorite 2012 posts in the comments section!

Note that some of these are repeats from my monthly Round-Ups, but many are new - posts that I wanted to include in a round up but the list was too long already, or I already had chosen another post by the same writer, or a gem of a post I discovered belatedly, from earlier in the year.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order, some wonderful posts and images from 2012 for your edification and enjoyment:

Coney Island by Neil Kramer

We Can Become Known from Elan/Schmutzie of Schmutzie

Too Vast a Project by Adrienne of No Points for Style

Scars and Scars by Sarah of Sarah Piazza

Cloudy Afternoon by Neil Kramer

For the Record by Anna of An Inch of Gray

Tragedy by Maggie May of Flux Capacitor 

Mother & Child Are Linked At The Cellular Level by Laura of Laura Grace Weldon

Trees, Georgia by Neil Kramer

Rocking my inner Israeli Ke$ha by Sarah at The Times of Israel blog   

I wish I was a Stepford Wife by Candi of Looking for Blue Sky

The Thing About Autism by Kyra of Kyra Anderson 5.0

Raindrops by Neil Kramer

An open letter to all parents from a non-parent. from Emelia of Trying to be good

Thanks Giving 101 by (The Empress) Alexandra of Good Day Regular People

I debated whether or not to share this story. by UnWinona of {UnWinona}

Tilted Tree by Neil Kramer

Newsflash: There Are No Autistic Behaviours by Bec of Snagglebox

Aspie Like Me: A Diagnosis Story from Jean (Stimey) of Stimeyland 

As You Are: An Open Letter to My Son by Leigh of Flappiness Is...  at ChildsWork's ChildsPlay Blog

Swings by Neil Kramer

There are places I remember from Ellen of Love That Max

the noise of life by Jessica of Four plus an angel at mamalode

Grace, via jump rope by Mir of Woulda Coulda Shoulda 

Cat by Neil Kramer

The fight goes on. from Jenny, the Bloggess of The Bloggess

free pass by Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary

Home from Alysia of Try Defying Gravity

Tree in Cemetery by Neil Kramer

Scent of cardinals by Kris of Pretty All True 

The Advantages Of Being Never Not Broken. by Eden of Edenland

i see myself from Jess of a diary of a mom

Car by Neil Kramer

Dick Cheney's First Heart from Deb of Deb on the Rocks

Secrets of the Traveling Va-Jay-Jay from Kate of Diary of a Return-to-Work Mom 

Why I Still Blog by Tanis of Attack of the Redneck Mommy

Aaaaaaand that's all folks! Happy reading and Happy New Year!

A Sunset, New Zealand by Neil Kramer

I am so looking forward to reading everyone's wonderful fresh words and seeing Neil's new photos in the coming year!

The Reading Chair by Neil Kramer

Best Bologna of 2012

Well, it's become an end of the year tradition now - third year in a row - ye olde Recap Post... wherein I reflect on the past year here at The Squashed Bologna and bring you my favorite posts from each month.

2012 has been a fairly intense, challenging year for me. My mother's fall in late May, and the radical change in her circumstances that rolled out from that being at the center of most of it.

It was hard to choose again this year...

The popular posts or the sleepers? The "big thoughts" or the quiet moments? Heavy posts about my mother or sweet ones about my kids? The challenges or the gifts of Jacob's autism? My best writing or the most interesting events?

Some months I couldn't pick just one, so there's a few doubles. And that's ok, because, well, my blog, my rules, right? Who says it HAS to be only one post per month? (Not me.)

So, without further ado...

Here are some of my favorite Squashed Mom posts from 2012:

January: Monday Listicles: 10 Things I Have Done to Make a Living {A funny annotated list of the many and sundry odd - and I jobs I have held in my long life}

February: A Full Moon for Susan {My goodbye to the wonderful Susan Niebur  - aka WhyMommy - who died of metastatic inflammatory breast cancer, celebrating her life and work} 

and 10 years ago today... {Looking back at my then pregnant self, realizing I had NO CLUE how much and in what ways my life was going to change}

March: Planets {Taking a walk with Ethan and reflecting on my children's distant, fratious relationship.}

April: Words {Reflecting on the power of words in our lives. Especially destructive ones - like "Retard"} 

May: The Dress {Cleaning out my closet, coming upon a dress I wore at a significant point in my life, and telling a tale from the beginning of my IVF pregnancy}

and Perspective {Sitting by my mother's side in the ICU puts everything else in my life into perspective.}

June: My Heart, Her Heart {Caring for my mother through her recovery, and adjusting - or not - to her new diminished circumstances}

July: The living and the dying {Reflections on my mother and my aunt: old women near the end of life.)

August: Full Circles {Dropping Jacob off for a week of SN Summer camp - at the same camp I attended as a 14 year old. Looking backwards and forwards in wonder.}

September: Picures and Stories {A smiling picture of Jake on a boat, and then the story of his horrific autistic meltdown five minutes later. The difference between pictures and stories.}

and Hunger {A funny memory of my last trip to LA while pregnant with the twins, when my access to food got compromised - my Yom Kippur post.}

October: Her way home {A poignant post about my fading mother and her struggles.}

November: Survivor Guilt {NYC got socked by a hurricane and my family suffered not one bit. And therefore I felt terrible.}

December: This is Jacob. This is autism. {My contribution to the wonderful "Autism Shines" campaign / Facebook page to counter the autism negativity fallout from Newtown.}

And that's the year that was!

Well... not entirely.  Looking over these posts, I realized there is much missing from this recap. Because I have chosen to go pretty much with the "best writing"  side of things, there are quite a few key events in my life not covered in here, as my posts regarding them were more reportage than literary, and thus didn't make it onto this list.

So I think I need yet another re-cap post about my LIFE in 2012 -- including things like my producing  the first annual New York City Listen to Your Mother Show, my reading as a Voice of the Year at BlogHer this past summer, the boys turning 10, etc., etc.

Tomorrow, peeps...

And until then?

Sending my wishes out to you all for the happiest of all possible New Years, and a 2013 that is wonderful and either wild or peaceful (depending on your preference), exceeding your wildest dreams.

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Photo credits: Spiral Galaxy by Calar Alto Observatory via NASA

2011 Round-up: What I Loved on OTHER People's Blogs

Well, it's been some ride on the rollercoaster this year, folks, hasn't it? And today, on the final day of the old year, I'm going to do something new and different here on the old blog:

Besides my Squashed Mom year in review post, "The Squashed Best of 2011" (which went up Thursday) all about where my blog has gone in 2011 (and, no, "to Hell in a handbasket" is NOT the right answer, here, folks) I also want to share some of the awesomeness I have found in OTHER people's blogs, on the interwebs, among my blogging friends and brethren.

So I have compiled for you a short, very unscientific, VERY incomplete list of a few of my faves and raves of 2011. 

And if you know I love you and you don't have a post on this list? Please know it's just an artifact of my tired, ADD-rific mommy brain. I'm probably slapping myself on the forehead right this instant, going: "Doh! How could I have forgotten THAT amazing post by wonderful HER!" - so please add a link to your one of your favorite 2011 posts in the comments section!

Here goes...

In no particular order, I have been moved to laughter. tears, astonishment, or action by these wonderful posts (among many more) this past year:

Mothering, Disability and Race from the lovely Elizabeth of a moon, worn as if it had been a shell

In the Beginning from my blog-heart-friend Adrienne of No Points for Style

the ghost of john wayne and the perils of eleven from the adventurous Deborah of MaNNaHaTTaMaMMa

Invisible from the delightful Momo of Momo Fali.

Adventures in Depression from the wonderful and very brave Allie of Hyperbole and a Half

Who Are You? from the wise and deep Alysia of Try Defying Gravity

I Dreamed You from the amazing Amanda of Last Mom on Earth

The Only Way To Make It Through This from our dear Empress (Alexandra) of Good Day Regular People

Whispered fingertips from Kris of Pretty All True who needs no qualifier, because she just IS all that.

The Obsessive Joy of Autism from Julia Bascom of Just Stimming and also Quiet Hands because her words are THAT important.

This Is Not Really About Cake from the "badass" Kelly of Mocha Momma

Of Spiderman, a bully, and lessons learned from the great-assed Cheryl of Mommypants

I keep thinking about the nurse. from the kick-ass Eden of Edenland

Top Ten Things You Should (and Shouldn't) Say to The Parent of an Autistic Child from the highly opinionated (and often hysterically funny) Stark Raving Mad Mommy.

On growing up with strange sensory reactions, and the difference between passing and being passed off. from outspoken Amanda of Ballastexistenz

I want my son back from the inspiring Blue Sky of Looking for Blue Sky

worst case scenario from the incomparable Maggie of Flux Capacitor

what i would tell you from the beloved Jess of a diary of a mom

Sunshine on the water is so lovely from eloquent Emily of Emily Rosenbaum

in the midst of this from the, well, extraordinary Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary

The Bridge: One Terrible Night from Anna See of An Inch of Gray who has gone where none of us wish to go, with more grace and fortitude than I can possibly imagine.

I could go on and on and on, but 21 feels like a nice number, so I'll stop here. In hindsight, looking over it, I find this list was probably a bit heavy on the autism and special needs stuff. But then again, so is my life. So. is. my. life.

Wishing all of you a wonderful New Year, a terrific 2012, wherever the next turn of the great wheel takes you!

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The Squashed Best of 2011

It's the end of the year, and, as I said in last year's "Squashed Best" post "a traditional time to both reflect back and look forward." I stand by that.

Although I will say that looking backward is so much easier than looking forward. Especially when you're old, like me. (Now is when you're supposed to protest that I'm not that old, or at least that I don't LOOK it.)

As I'm now approaching my 2nd blogaversary, it is fun to be revisiting things I've done from last year, creating bloggy "traditions," as it were. So obviously I had to do this, the SECOND annual Year in Blog wrap-up for The Squashed Bologna, 2011 edition.

This year there seem to be a gazillion people doing wrap-up linkys on their blogs, and I'm probably going to link this up with about half of them. So if you've come over from one and you're new here: Hello, nice to meet you! Pull up a chair and stay a while, have a nice meander through my blog. I'd love to offer you a cup of tea, but that would fry your motherboard.

And if you're an old blog-friend (I mean long-time, I'm not calling you old, really) maybe you missed one of these. If not, go visit an old favorite, or just say "Hi and Happy New Year." Whatever!

So, without further ado, some posts I'm fond of from 2011:

January: O is for Oxygen {All about my sons' early language development, or lack thereof.}

February: In my Grandmother's House  {My first memoir post - and it's a doozy - about some strange goings-on at Grandma Dunia's.}

March: The Last Room {Standing in the room my father spent the very end of his life in, remembering.}

April: B is for Best Friend {About Jacob's lack of, and desire for a real friend, and one day in the playground when a kind boy played with him.}

May:  Thoughts on my son's getting older and getting stranger  {What it is: Jacob is still autistic.}

June: H is for Holding Hands {A small, quiet, tender moment with my elderly, widowed mother.}

July: Breakers {At the beach with my sons, remembering summers past, reveling in the ocean.}

August: Missing my Father {His absence as a presence in my life that comes and goes, sometimes more acutely than others.}

September: Choosing kindness {Choosing kindness when it would be so easy to be harsh; both with my children and with myself.}

October: Blink {Watching a baby while sitting with my sons, remembering, and observing how quickly the time goes, trying to be mindful and appreciative.}

November: What remains possible {Another dispatch from the trenches of a hard day of special needs parenting.}

December: Skipping Maybe not my objective "best" but a fun and funny little post, because I am getting tired of the heavy, and I reveal my sci-fi geek self therein. Enjoy!}

and on to 2012 we go....

So, as to the "looking forward" part? I really have no idea what 2012 will bring. More challenges, for sure. But also, hopefully, opportunities. Growth and bounding forward for my sons. Maybe even a bit of maturity (for me, I mean; my sons will certainly be doing some maturing).

I know one thing I am certain of in 2012 is that it will bring new connections and strengthen old. What I never imagined when I began this little blog nearly two years ago was how it would expand my life. I never foresaw the amazing community of (mostly women, mostly mom) bloggers that I would become a part of, and who would become such a vital part of my life in such a short expanse of time.

If 2011 has taught me anything it's how vital community is, both local IRL, and virtual on the interwebs. And I am grateful, grateful, grateful for the overflowing support and friendship therein.

And so I wish you all the happiest of New Years, and a 2012 that is wonderful and bountiful, exceeding your wildest dreams.

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Wordless Wednesday: 2011 in Pictures

Today I'm linking up with my friend Jessica of Four Plus an Angel who is hosting a year-end wrap-up linky thing:



This is what she says about it: Just create a post with 12 words or 12 pictures… a little year in review. Pick a word for each month of 2011 or a picture for each, or a 12 word sentence that sums up the year or a 12 picture collage, as long as it’s easy for you to put together and easy for others to read.

And me, because I can not QUITE follow any rules exactly as written (rebel, rebel...) and because I never met a simple easy task I couldn't find SOME way to over-think and over complicate... I am doing a picture AND a word for each month (and in two cases 3 words were necessary). You're welcome.

So, without further ado, my year in review:

January: 

Surgery!

February:

Snow

March:

One Year Gone

April:

Awareness

May:

Mom

June:

Goodbye

 July:

Birthday

August:

BlogHer11

September:

Tragedy

October:

ComiCon

November:

Thanksgiving

December:

Struggling (but Hopeful)

Aaaaaaaand, that's a wrap! Here's to a great 2012 for us all!


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Monday Listicles: 2011 Firsts

Well, it's time for the last of Stasha’s Monday Listicles for the year, so fittingly it's a year's end theme. Today's topic came from Bridget at Twinisms: 

Top Ten things we've done for the FIRST time in 2011.

Hmmm I'm pretty old so there's not a lot of "firsts" left for me, but I'm sure I can come up with something... or rather, 10 things, right?

1. Well I started out the year with a first. In December 2010 my gall bladder went rogue, so on January 5th, 2011 I had it removed. And that was the first non-pregnancy related surgery of my life; the first time I have been separated from any of the original parts my body came with.

2. I had my first triple-month-skip: getting only one period from August through the year's end so I am clearly moving into the endgame of my shift from peri- into full blown menopause.

3. I began better living through chemistry and went on anti-depressant medication for the first time in my life to deal with the on and off depression brought about by wonky biochemistry from the above 2 items.

4. OK, I'm hating to sound like too much of a downer here, wracking brain to come up with a cheerful & happy first... how's this: Jake & Ethan both went to sleep-away camps (for the first time!) for about a week this summer, at partially overlapping times, so Dan & I had the apartment to ourselves for 4 whole nights for the first time since the boys were born. We're talking 9 years here people! We were spontaneously going out at night without the babysitter tax, we were sleeping naked, we were sleeping in, we were... well I'm not telling you about THAT.

5. Related to #4 above: I drove through a hurricane for the first time in my life. Well it wasn't quite a hurricane yet, but rather the leading edge of one, and believe me that was enough. What happened was that Jake's camp in Massachusetts was directly in the projected path of Hurricane Irene. I had just picked up Ethan at his Pennsylvania camp & spent the night with friends there. So instead of bringing him home and having a night's rest before heading up to pick up Jake, Ethan & I drove through the outer bands of the storm to get him and then the 3 of us high-tailed it home like bats out of hell, racing the full-on storm, trying to make it into Manhattan before the bridges & tunnels got closed down (which never actually happened but there were rumors of its certainty). And that kind of excitement? Happy to have my first also be my last.

6. I finally started to write from memes and prompts and ended up going to surprising and wonderful places in my writing and blog.

7. As related to #6 above, I wrote FICTION for the first time in... oh, about 25 years. It came out of the blue as I was mulling over a prompt. And I really enjoyed having strange people talking away inside my head, even when they were yelling at me.

8. When I went out to San Diego for BlogHer11, I spent 4 nights away from my husband and kids for the first time since the twins were born. It was glorious. And may I confess? Until the last day... I barely missed them at all. Having 4 days in a row in which my time was all about ME was simply amazing after 9 years of full time, day-in & day-out care taking of young and old people.

9. Due to the lovely synergy between menopausal metabolism changes and stress eating (have I mentioned it's been a fairly shit year overall?) I topped 180 for the first time in my life, non-pregnant. Oops. Really need to do something about THAT in 2012.

10. I wrote my first "Top Ten" list post. Something I swore I'd never do. And I liked it, I really liked it. Stasha, you've created a monster... I can't stop. Lists, lists, lists, I love lists now!!!

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