Hopeful, Kindred Parents

Families with autism (and other "invisible" special needs) are all around us, everywhere, everyday. I never used to notice them, specifically, pointedly, until we became them. And now I can't not see, not try to connect whenever possible. 

When my kids were little still, my eyes would always be drawn to the boy apart, walking the perimeter of the playground, hand bumping along each link of the chain link fence, on his toes, eyes cast down; to the girl tearing her dress off, rolling in and eating sand, screeching one octave higher and louder than any other kid in the playground but seeming deaf to her mothers words.... (continued)


Well, YESTERDAY was the 10th of the month again (and considering how much is going down right now in our lives, it's surprising that I'm only a single day late) so click on over to Hopeful Parents to read the rest of my post:

Kindred Spirits

Enjoy!

And come back here tomorrow for an update on my mother or some pictures of my cute kids or more talk about autism or... look a squirrel... oooh, something shiny... what was I saying? Oh, yea, maybe some chatter about my ADD... or whatever.

And thanks for all the support. It is heard, felt, and very, very much appreciated, even if I am not up to the task of replying personally to each and every comment.

Hopeful about the New School Year

There was a lot of change for Jacob to manage on this, on his first day of school this year. He is in a new classroom, with a new teacher, moving up a level, now in his last year of "elementary."

And even more significant, his school has undergone a transformation, now housed in a new, singular building instead of being spread out; no longer being special needs guests in a series of larger, typical, Catholic Schools....

Yes! it IS the 10th of the month. So to read the rest, come over to Hopeful Parents for my monthly post:  

First Day of School Highs and Lows

So go there now. Enjoy!

And come back here tomorrow for more.... whatever (I have no idea which of the 5,000 things squashing me right now I will be writing about, or maybe I'll try to lighten up the joint with some comic relief, you never know.)

And thanks for all the support that's been flowing out to me lately. It is heard, felt,  and much appreciated.

Happy Hopeful Birthday

It's August 10th, which means it's my birthday again (seems to happen every year, go figure) and so I'm over at Hopeful Parents again, with my monthly post:

Of Birthdays and Balloons

So go read me there. Please? (It IS my birthday, after all.)

(52, if you want to know.)

Thanks!

And if you're coming over for a visit for the first time from Hopeful Parents?

I'm sorry. It appears that you're going to have to dig back a bit to find posts on special needs parenting. I've been so caught up in all the care-taking with my elderly mother, and then there was that whole highly distracting BlogHer conference thing. And recent birthdays and whatnot.

Try clicking this link for my Posts about Autism.

Or here for Posts about Jacob.

And if you're interested in issues of siblings and special needs, may I recommend my Special Needs Sibling Saturdays guest post series, which has been on hiatus since last December but which will be starting up again in the fall.

Of course you can just noodle around my blog willy-nilly, any way you want, too. Make yourself at home and thanks for visiting.

Hopeful and Grateful and Honored

Yes, it IS the 10th of the month and for once I am actually on time with my post over at Hopeful Parents, where you will find me today, summing up what's been going on with my family lately while looking for things to be grateful for in all the insanity.

So go there and read: Things to be Grateful For


But I also wanted to take this moment to note something really lovely:

I have been chosen as a BlogHer Voice of the Year for 2012. And this year, I am not just an honoree but an actual speaker... Which means I will be READING my selected post in the big Friday evening Voices of the Year keynote address at this summer's BlogHer conference here in New York City on August 3rd.

I remember so well sitting in the audience, listening, rapt in 2010 and 2011; being moved to laughter and tears by so many wonderful, inspiring women and their work.

Last year, my dear friend and BlogHer roommate Alexandra (the Empress) was one of the readers, along with other bloggers, old and new to me, whose voices sang out into the room.

And now this year I, along with so many other wonderful women (and one rather wonderful man: instagram genius, Neil Kramer) will get to return the favor. I feel so honored and thrilled, beyond belief, over the moon. It's a blogging gal's dream come true.

So, if this is such big news, if it's so important, then why have I waited nearly 2 long weeks since the official announcement to tell you all about it? For the same reason everything in my life is deferred at the moment: I got the news while sitting by my mother's bedside in the hospital.

It was less than a week out from the fall, when she was still quite touch and go. The lone bright spot in my rather dark day, I thought "I must write a post about this!" but then it was quickly shoved to the back burner by more pressing issues surrounding my mother.

So I have finally grabbed THIS moment to tell you all. Because those pressing issues? They are not going away any time soon.

And the two sentence update on my mom: Today was yet another long up and down day with her. Mostly down, though by the end there was some peace, as she slept and slept.

Talking about Screen-love at Hopeful Parents

It's not the 10th of the month, it's the 12th. But I'm over at Hopeful Parents today. I may be a day late (well, 2 days actually), but at least I'm not a dollar short.

My post: No screen-free for me

All about how we were so NOT participating in screen free week over here. But I am working to accept that, for TV is what taught Jake to talk and for that I will always be grateful.

It has been some week - my Listen to Your Mother Show happening last Sunday, My NYT Motherlode Blog post appearing last Monday, and then an overnight road trip yesterday to see Philly's LTYM sister show. (I never go away overnight!) Whew.

Hopefully things will settle down a bit soon. Meanwhile, go read me over there today. OK? Thanks.

Feeling Very Hopeful, Indeed

It's the 10th of the month (shhh play along with me here) so I'm over at Hopeful Parents again today.

And while I thought, what with it being April and all, you know, Autism Awareness Month or Autism Acceptance Month (depending on which camp you fall into) and with my son Jacob on the spectrum, I would write another one of my “big thoughts” posts about A.U.T.I.S.M over there at Hopeful Parents.

Yeah. Not so much so. I have been too busy being his mother right now. Which is OK.

Spring Break and LTYM you know. Keeping me hopping.

So go on over to the New! Improved! Hopeful Parents site and read my post: My Turn

Cheerio! 

Scrounging for the Hopeful

I'm not even going to pretend I wrote this on the 10th. It's way too overdue for that. It's the 12th of the month, and even that just barely.

I'm wiped out. Even more tired than last month. If that's possible.

But for some GOOD reasons, this time, too (Listen to Your Mother-NYC - Yeah!) But still, tired is tired.

... so now THIS is (finally) out of the way, and I'm going to bed. (Cue vision of sink full of dishes - CRAP! Well, almost going to bed.)

But YOU should head on over to the Hopeful Parents site and read my 20th post there: Scrounging for Hope

Also - WARNING - right now (hopefully soon to be fixed) the site is loading slow. REALLY slow. Slow like for a full 2 - 3 minutes you see the header and sidebar only, while the main post body area remains blank white.

And while, yes, I know that 3 minutes is a CENTURY in computer time these days (though I am old enough to remember a time when it SO wasn't, when that would be considered a FAST load - Ha!) PLEASE have the patience to wait it out and read my post over there. And if you would leave a comment it would be ever so lovely.

OK. Yawn. To bed.

(ME - you go to HP now, please.)

(Yes, I'm bossy.)

(Sorry.)

(Not Really.)

(Dishes, then bed. Right. Thanks for reminding me.)



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The Burnout Factor at Hopeful Parents

Well, today is the 10th of the month, sort of. (What? Like you've never post-dated a post before. You haven't? OK, my bad.)

In any event, I'm tired. I'm going to bed (finally). But you should head on over to the Hopeful Parents site and read my 19th post there: Burnout Factor

And while I could blather on and on here... Why? Really?

Turning off the spigot.

Nighty-night. See you tomorrow.



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Hopeful Parents Day Again

Well, today is the 10th of the month, so I'm over at HP as usual. Today's post, however, is a rerun.

Jake was home sick today. Nothing major - just a sore throat and slight fever - but he was clearly feeling too punk to be put on the bus this morning, was low energy and very needy all day.  And this, my first day with Dan back home after nearly a week in Seattle, me holding down the fort on my own, I wasn't expecting to spend, essentially, as a human pillow.

So my plans to write a brand spanking new HP post during the day? Out the window.  Not wanting to miss my HP day, I am bringing a special post from December over there.

So if you haven't read it before, or if you want to see it again, come on over to Hopeful Parents and read my post: Progress, Step by Step

See you back here tomorrow!



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SNSS takes a Holiday (meanwhile, I'm over at Hopeful Parents)

If you came here for a new Special Needs Sibling Saturdays guest post, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

First off, today is the 10th of the month, so I'm over at HP as usual with my post: Building Community One Tweet at a Time

Over there, I'm talking about...  you guessed it, the wonderful #YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf Twitter conversation that's been going on.

But also?

I am here to announce that the Special Needs Sibling Saturdays series is going to be on hiatus for just a little while, as the holiday season ramps up into gear.

It's going to be getting very busy and I want to spend time with my family. Plus people are going to get swamped and miss their deadlines to get posts to me. I know that - can see it coming - and want to avoid all the stress that entails. So I'm giving it a break for a bit.

Special Needs Sibling Saturdays will be back in early January (probably about the second week) and continue as a weekly series until I make a full year of it - through the month of March, that is. After that I'll re-evaluate to see if there's enough steam left to continue as is.

The series will never go away completely, this is too important a topic to me for that. Also there is much to the hosting that I enjoy, but it is also an (unpaid) weekly obligation that sometimes gets to me, so I'm not going to continue it indefinitely.  At some point it will likely become a biweekly (fortnightly to my Anglo friends) or monthly feature, as seems fitting.

So while it's on break I will be contacting potential and confirmed guests and scheduling out the SNSS posts for the new year. If you think you've got one in you, and I haven't contacted you yet - or if I have made initial contact but haven't followed up (ADD brain strikes again, many apologies) - please let me know! You can leave a comment here, send me a tweet or an email.

Just don't send your note by carrier pigeon or owl (yes, that's a geeky Harry Potter reference), as Cocoa the cat thinks they're delicious.

Also, if you have previously committed to write a SNSS post but have somehow not been able to come through yet (no name calling or finger pointing here, you folks KNOW who you are) this is the perfect time to cough one up and send it to me! All will be forgiven. The hounds will be called off.

(Actually you are already forgiven, because you are a SN parent and how could I *not* understand how life gets, and bloggy obligations are just NOT at the top of the priority list. Believe me, I understand all too well. It's just that this was too good an opportunity to mess with y'all to pass up.)

So, all that said, please go visit me over at Hopeful Parents, today. And if think you might not have seen all of the many wonderful SNSS guest posts that have appeared here for the past 9 months?

Go to the SNSS page now, see what you missed, and catch up on your reading:

Click me to see all the SNSS posts

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Autism's Little Gifts at Hopeful Parents

Yep, it's the 10th of the month again, so I'm over at:

where I'm being positive, not negative, and talking about the little gifts my son's autism brings along with it.

So come read me over at Hopeful Parents today as I contemplate Autism's Little Gifts.

Because I just can't do another cranky rant, even though I have plenty of material for that, believe me.

And now? Time to ice my elbow again (don't ask).

(But if you want details, read my Hopeful Parents post.)

Looking Down the Road at Hopeful Parents

I'm not here today, I'm over at:

where I'm talking about what I see when I look into my autistic son Jacob's future.

So come read me over at Hopeful Parents today as I contemplate Looking Down the Road

And it starts as a personal meditation and ends with a call to arms.

Because, people?

There are probably a dozen places scattered around the country right now that would be appropriate for Jake to live in as an adult, if he needs the kind of support I think he's going to need to lead a rich and rewarding, semi-independent life.

And there's going to be hundreds of THOUSANDS of autistic adults like him, that need those spots too.

Think about it.

And then do something about it, please. Take action!

Because it's about 10 years from plan to completion in these things; and we're about 10 years too late, already.

Also? I know today is the 11th and my usual posting day is the 10th. But I spent yesterday, the 10th, in the ER with my mother, once again. She had fallen and, it turns out, fractured a rib. 

And, as is usual in a busy city ER, we spent hours waiting for this test, then that one, the decision to admit, and finally a room... which she got into at 4 AM.

Yes, the fun never stops. Now I'mma gonna get an hour of shut-eye, then head back to the hospital.


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Hopeful about my fledgling

I know it's Saturday, but there is no Special Needs Sibling Saturdays today. That's because it's the 10th of the month, so I'm over at

today, talking about my autistic son Jacob's experience at sleep-away camp. Actually, since he really hasn't told me anything about it, I'm talking more about MY process and experience in sending him there.

So come read me over at Hopeful Parents today as I contemplate my little Fledgling.

And if you're disappointed about not finding

today, maybe you missed some of the last few posts that came out in late summer when everyone was distracted, immersed in end of vacation and back to school madness.

Did you read all of these?:

When a Brother's Love Hurts

 by Gina of Special Happens

It’s Just Not Fair

 by Shell of Things I Can't Say

How Will They Know?

 by Caryn Haluska of Living with Logan

They are wonderful and should have more eyeballs. And you'll find SNSS back here again next Saturday with fresh tales of special needs siblings.

My One Year Anniversary as a Hopeful Parent

Not only is today the 10th of the month, but it also happens to be my birthday. (51. Thank you.)

This is not a coincidence, a happy accident. It is also my one year anniversary of posting for Hopeful Parents, my 13th post over there.  Last year I had asked to begin on the 10th of August, thought to commemorate my 50th birthday with my first Hopeful Parents post.

What I had failed to calculate was that this meant that every year I will now have a post due on my birthday. So be it; it's a great chance for reflection, looking back over the landscape of the year just flown by.

So what has changed in a year? Mostly that the new school I had so hoped would be good for Jacob turned out to be wonderful beyond our wildest dreams, a great place for him to grow and learn.

Jake still does not yet have a friend. But we're working on that, have high hopes for the coming school year.

But besides all of Jacob's wonderful developments? It is also true that my son grows both older and stranger, adolescence looming a few heartbeats away.

I've been reading a lot of posts from friends lately about their slightly older autistic kids entering new stages of meltdowns and more, and frankly, it's got me a bit spooked.

So come read me over at Hopeful Parents today as I contemplate some Cautionary Tales.

See you back here tomorrow.



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I'm in Bits and Pieces at Hopeful Parents

I am not generally a stupid person. I know the 10th of the month comes up again, every month, right at this time. Completely predictable, as, well, a calendar...

So why, these last few months have I been surprised when it has rolled around, had to jump through last minute hoops to get my post up over at Hopeful Parents?

My life is just feeling overwhelming these days. It's not any one big thing but lots of little things.

That's why I'm over at Hopeful Parents today in Bits and Pieces.

Not a big "important" post about autism this time, but rather a bit of the flotsam and jetsam floating in my mind about our lives. Hopefully, you will find it entertaining.

One of these days I will set down another "big thoughts" post about autism.

But until then? I'm just trying to get through summer with my boys, one day at a time. I was hoping to get to the beach today, as we haven't gone yet and Jake loves the water so much.

But I was still feeling out of sorts with the tail end of a really nasty summer cold still lingering. We didn't make it, ended up with a city adventure instead (Central Park and the Victorian Gardens Amusement Park therein).

I will try hard to NOT feel guilty about depriving my boys of beachy pleasures. Next week, maybe, hopefully.

Feeling the Love at Hopeful Parents

Why yes, it *IS* the 10th of the month again. So you should know where to find me... over at Hopeful Parents today.

If you've been reading my blog lately, you know some of the ups and downs we've been having. I was going to write about that, call my post "Riding the Rollercoaster" but then we had a meeting this morning with Jake's lovely school.

I walked out of it full of hope, and knew I had to talk instead about Feeling the Love.

So go read me at Hopeful Parents, then come back tomorrow for a new Special Needs Sibling Saturdays guest post, this week by the lovely Jennie B of Anybody want a Peanut? 

You Gotta Have Friends at Hopeful Parents Today

It's still the 10th of the month, for a little bit longer, and I got my Hopeful Parents post done today by the skin of my teeth.

I am talking about Jake and friends, or rather, his lack thereof, in my post: You Gotta Have Friends

And while I bemoan the fact that Jake still doesn't have a much desired close friend, I also find some things to celebrate, reasons for hope.

Once again, I'm keeping it short and sweet here, just popping in to throw to my post over there.

Because my two and a half day vacation, while restful? Over at 7 pm on Sunday eve. So I'm tired again. (Will I ever make enough deposits into the sleep bank to make up for the years of 4 hour nights?)

So go read me at Hopeful Parents, then come back tomorrow for more bologna.



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Sibling Day for Me at Hopeful Parents

 

Yes, why it IS the 10th of the month, so that means I'm over at Hopeful Parents today.

And, as it is weighing so heavily on my mind, I'm talking about sibling relations again, in my post: Not His Brother's Keeper.

I talk about the usual dreadful state of things between Ethan and Jacob, and also talk up my new guest post series, Special Needs Sibling Saturdays.  Not surprisingly, quite a lot of my guest bloggers also post monthly at Hopeful Parents.

I know you're used to me blathering on and on even when I'm just here to throw to my post over there. But today I'm going to surprise you all and shut up.

So go read me at Hopeful Parents, then come back tomorrow (well, maybe the next day) for more of my "brilliance."

I'm over at Hopeful Parents today

It's the 10th of the month... and that means it's time to come over to:

My post there today: On Being Verbal

As anyone reading my blog recently knows, March is being a hard month for me.

I'm glad I got my post done.

I'm not feeling terribly garrulous this morning, so I think I'll just let my post, there, speak for itself.

Go, read.  See you back here soon.

And?

Thank you.  Your support means the world to me.

The Beat Goes On over at Hopeful Parents Today

I am over at Hopeful Parents Today, talking about the wonderful, interactive, Music for Autism concert Jake and my Mom and I attended last Sunday.

My post this month: Music for Autism rocked our world

So go and read me there.

This is now my seventh post with Hopeful Parents, and I just want to say again how happy I am to ba a part of that wonderful community.

Even when I am in a deep funk, they make me feel connected, remind me to be hopeful.

Thank you.