Sometimes I get lucky

Me with Ethan, July 29.2002

My lovely friend Nichole asked me to be a part of a story she was telling over at SheKnows.com this week, in which fourteen moms who “beat infertility” share their tales of success along with the baby pictures to prove it.

In spite of wanting children for many years, I started on the path to motherhood very late, being nearly forty when I married my husband (twelve years ago yesterday!). And so we moved quickly into the whole fertility game after only three months of trying the "fun way."

We were very lucky; our first IVF "took."  We have had so many challenges in our lives since, I don't think back to that time all that often, but those two years between our wedding day and the day our boys were born were hard.  I know others have had fertility issues that went on much, much longer. But also I knew that we were racing the clock, and that things could easily have gone the other way for us (in which case we would probably be the parents of a little Chinese girl instead of a pair of boys).

I have nearly completely forgotten all the public tears I quietly shed, when surrounded by heavily pregnant women in my family friendly neighborhood on yet another day the pee stick showed a single forlorn pink line. I sobbed into my pillow more nights than I ever had over any boy or girl from my youthful days of frequent and dramatic heartbreaks.

It is really true though, how the mind smooths over the rough times as you go forward. And my family keeps me way too busy to dwell on the past much.

But when I do think about it, I am astonished at how lucky we are, and perpetually grateful to the wonders of modern reproductive medical science for our boys.

And I am happy and proud to be telling my success story over at SheKnows. And I am in such great company, as so many of the other moms there are my friends from far and wide (Listen to Your Mother, Special Needs parents, twin moms, BlogHer buddies, etc. etc.) and lovely writers, all.

I hope you get a chance to click over and read all the amazing stories there.

And finally, thanks again, Nichole, for including me in this wonderful cohort. And... good luck to you!

Wordless Wednesday: Counting up to 9

Well, seeing how Jacob and Ethan's 9th birthday is on Friday, I thought I would use this week's Wordless Wednesday to share some pictures of the boys growing up, getting ready to make their mark of NINE full years upon this planet. 

First Ethan (for he *IS* one minute older, after all):

Ethan newborn (1week)

Ethan at 1

Ethan at 2

Ethan at 3

Ethan at 4

Ethan at 5

Ethan at 6

 Ethan at 7

Ethan at 8

Ethan nearly 9

And then came Jacob (one minute later):

Jake newborn (2 days)

Jake at 1

Jake at 2

Jake at 3

Jake at 4

Jake at 5

Jake at 6

Jake at 7

Jake at 8

Jake nearly 9

Happy Nearly Birthday, Boys!

I’m linking up to Wordless / Wordful Wednesdays all OVER the place... at Angry Julie Monday... at 5 Minutes for Mom... at live and love...out loud... at Dagmar*s momsense... at Parenting by Dummies.


Looking for comments? To read or leave a comment, click on THIS post's title, or HERE, to bring you to the post's page view. Comments should appear below.

Rocking my Babies

Once again, the fabulous, generous, community-building Shell of Things I Can't Say, she of the Pour Your Heart Out weekly Wednesday link-ups and so many more (remember Rockin' the Bump?) has come up with a NEW wonderful link-up meme: Rockin' the Baby.

She wants our kids' baby pictures. And since I LOVE looking at pictures of my boys from way back when, I'm so in!

Especially as we're fast approaching their 9th birthday at the end of this month, and so I'm I getting all weepy and nostalgic reflecting on how they've grown and are (sob) not my little babies anymore.

My boys were endlessly cute back then (still are). So here they are in all their adorable baby glory:

Ethan  - a one week old elf

Jacob - a two month old "Baby Power" activist

Jacob & Ethan - my three month old Carrot and Pea

There is such a bittersweet feeling when I look back at pictures from these earliest days. They are from a more innocent time, before I knew we were headed down the road hand in hand with autism.

So when I see these pictures I am brought back to those impossible-to-believe-now days when the future was endlessly rosy and anything seemed possible; when I thought my boys would be best friends forever, never lonely, always having each other to play with.

Anything is still possible. But some things seem a lot less probable, now. Sigh.

And now, as a bonus (and also because I can never leave well enough alone)... I'm throwing some generational stuff into the mix here.

First a trio of pictures from a contact sheet of newborn me, being held by my lovely, then raven-haired mother. Taken by my marvelous photographer father.

Don't I look like a mix of the two of them? (Oh, wait, genetics goes the OTHER way... so, um, rather, don't they look like me?)

And finally, my father as a baby, in 1917:

As astonishing as it may seem to young children, old people were once babies, too!

This post is linked up over at Things I Can’t Say.  Thank you, Shell, for encouraging us all to share photos of our babies (sob, they're not babies any more).

Looking for comments? To read or leave a comment, click on THIS post's title, or HERE, to bring you to the post's page view. Comments should appear below.

Wordless Wednesday: Nostalgia Edition

My Mother as a flower girl in her Aunt Rose's wedding, c. 1929

We finally unpacked and hooked up the scanner, and I have gone scan-mad.  My father's recent passing has unleashed a floodgate of photos passing through my hands, and I could spend hours, days, years, just visiting with them. My friend Adrienne is doing the same thing right now, pouring through a treasure trove of memorabilia from her Grandmother (who placed her precious collection in her granddaughter's hands upon moving to an assisted living facility).

So I thought I'd share some of my favorites from the sands of time:

1917 My father as a baby

Yes, all of us grown ups were once babies, much to my kids' confusion and delight.

Mom and Me, 11 days old

You may have seen my young father in my sidebar, remember this guy?

Dad in his early 20's

And now here's young Mom:

Mom in her 20's

Wasn't she a knock out? Since my parents didn't meet until they were much older (Mom in her 30's, Dad in his 40's) they never knew each other like this. I certainly did not know these young people, but it's fun to peek into their pasts.  The mother I knew never wore heels!

Going even further back, my Mother's relatives just off the boat. Literally, that's the boat behind them:

Mom's Aunts, Uncle and Zayde (Grandfather) at Ellis Island

I love the wicker suitcases. Welcome to America, oh Ancestors!


I don't normally like to scare people, but since Halloween is almost upon us... Me very, very pregnant with full term, full size twins:

The night before my kids came out to meet me

Yes, that was as uncomfortable as it looks.  My cousin Jessie called me "The happiest miserable person I know." during my pregnancy, because it was very physically challenging and I WAS just miserable (20 weeks of all-day-sickness, then unbelievable heartburn, for starters).  But simultaneously?  Deliriously, over-the-moon, goofy happy the whole time.  And totally worth it, since it lead to this...

I have always loved this photo:

Ethan, five minutes old (and already dramatic)

Jacob's happy personality really shines through in this one:

Jake at 4 months: "Duuude, let's grab a brewsky"

Our first Family Snow Day:

January 2003

When they were 8 months old, we took the boys to visit Grandma & Grandpa in Florida :

Mom & boys at 8 months

OK, enough with the cute babies.

Finally, I leave you with this one -- Me at 20, about to go out to Studio 54 or Danceteria with my wild friend Lisa, who loaned me her ha-cha-cha red dress and did me up (because really, at that time in my life? make-up not my thing):

Stop laughing, it was the style in 1980. Really. Stop it.

Since I am thoroughly in the thrall of my scanner, and even hijacked Sunday's and Monday's posts to throw some old pictures in, I'm sure I will be dragging you on more walks through time, but for now, have a nice Wednesday.

I’m linking up to Wordless Wednesday at Angry Julie Monday.
I'm also linked to Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.