Monday, April 30, 2012

Still Aware and Still Accepting

Today is the last day of April, now the official month of Autism Awareness and Autism Acceptance.

But of course, for those of us either with, or in intimate relationships with someone on the autism spectrum? It's not a month. It's a life.

A good life. But different.

I am still, more than ever, swamped by my duties as producer of the Listen to Your Mother Show, which is happening THIS upcoming Sunday. So I barely have time to type even another sentence about anything else, let alone the meaningful post about autism I should be writing today.

So even though yesterday's post was stream of consciousness (to the max) and I usually try to follow that with something well thought out and structured. Not possible to happen today. It's just another brain-dump people, with apologies.

Jacob has spring fever or spring mania or something and is bouncy and happy but also bouncy and LOUD, with his all-the-time talking at a new high. It's probably time for a visit to the psycho-pharmacologist for adjustments, and that is time and money I don't have. (Putting that call on my already floor-length to-do list for tomorrow.)

Listen to Your Mother is going to be amazing and our rehearsal yesterday truly inspiring. But it has definitely taken a toll on my family, with Ethan once again declaring that "You love your computer more than your kids, your computer is more important than ME." Sigh. I hope some day he'll understand.

Yesterday I actually said to him "I am more than just your mother, you know." And I kinda, sorta meant it.

I have to assume some of Jacob's over-the-top-ness is his needing more from me than I have been giving lately. He wants to play, to talk, to show me everything he is doing, which is truly, truly wonderful, but the timing couldn't have been worse.

So I am juggling three full time jobs - LTYM, Special Needs Mom, Elder Caregiver - and well, it ain't pretty.

There is an important conversation going on right now, that you should be reading if you care about autism. It's over here:

It's an answer to someone finding their blog using the search words "I wish I didn't have Asperger's." They want everyone typing those words into a search engine to find THIS site - and hear words of positivity and encouragement.

How utterly awesome. I wish I could have participated, but Asperger's is not the flavor of autism I have any real intimacy with, Jacob being of a different stripe altogether. 

But it's wonderful stuff, a lot of great posts by a lot of my autism-mom friends written and linked up there. You should go and read!

And that's really all I have time for today. Almost not a post, but better than nothing. (At least I'm sending you somewhere full of the wonderful.)

Now I have to go do another hour or three worth of work on Listen to your mother, and then plan the kids' weekend.  Do some paperwork for my mother.

And sleep, oh, yeah that "sleep" stuff. I think I vaguely remember what that feels like.


  1. I thought my family loved our nightclub business more than us kids until I was about 14. After that I was extremely happy they were not always nosing around! Turns out I was right about dear ole dad liking the bar more than us. I don't drink to this day.

  2. I get tired just reading your post. I am a very new follower but I can already see that you are very passionate about all 3+ of your full-time roles. I imagine that while you are focused on one, your have guilt pulling you towards the others... then move to that one and guilt to the others...

    I have no advise for you as your day and tasks certainly more demanding than the ones i face. But i do have a wish of sorts. I am thankful that I have finally "allowed" myself to focus and enjoy my energy on the task and passion at hand and not allow the guilt to pull me away. It is a peace that I can't describe. That is my wish for you... some small steps at least to that direction! Maybe when the show is behind you!

    Yes, the kids will understand some day! Mine are older now and i do wish i had focused on them a bit more instead of the passions that they lead me to... like the autism work you do because of your son...

    You are in my thoughts and hope you get some "nap time" this evening

  3. Oops, left something out of that final paragraph when talking about the kids being understanding when older.

    Anyway, i did get into a couple of things as result of my kids and did some good work and helped others along the way. It is very rewarding still and the kids have a good role model as a result and they are proud of what we did... but still i did miss some precious time with my own

    That is what i meant to say


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I am so sorry to have to turn word verification back on, but the spam-bots have found me - yikes!