My VOTY for you to enjoy

I am very stressed about the future right now, about my mother's 90th birthday tomorrow, about 5th grade homework and middle school applications, coming up. Also clearing out my mother's apartment and Jacob starting school at a whole new building with a brand new teacher.

So I will take this moment to look back at something pleasant instead (joyful even), from last month before mom fell again and life got really messed up. And I'm inviting you along for the ride:

The BlogHer12 Voices of the year videos are now up, live and online!

And I'm reading a piece I wrote about my mother, about visiting her in this apartment she is now leaving.

So if you missed me, or even want to hear me again, go for it. (I myself can't look, yet. Really. I always hate myself on tape, so why torture myself. One day my curiosity will get the better of me and I''ll watch it, but that day is not today.)

 I've been told I wasn't half bad.

 

And here's the rest of the VOTY readings. So please for the love of god, watch Shari's hysterical piece right after me, which closes out the show on a high note! (If you don't want to sit through the whole thing, you'll find her individual clip under in "Humor" - see bottom of page for link.)

And watch everyone else, all moving, wonderful writers, reading fabulous essays. I loved every minute of sharing this special stage with these incredible people... 

Here's the WHOLE VOTY:

  

Or, if you want to watch individual clips, go here: The BlogHer '12 Voices of the Year Video Is Here! 

Enjoy!

My 3rd Annual Obligatory Pre-BlogHer Post or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Con

Well, I figured if I made the title long enough I wouldn't actually have to write much of a post. Doesn't work that way does it? No? I thought not.

Can't I just distract and dazzle you with photos of BlogHers past? 

Me & Jenny at BlogHer10

Can't I just recycle one of my pre-BlogHer posts from the past two years? My funny, irreverent one from last year -  NOT a BlogHer primer - or - Don't take advice from ME! that sort of was a primer?

Or how about the one from 2010 - Look, Ma, I'm going to BlogHer - wherein I told tales out of Sundance and other conferences from my old life?

No?

OK, so here it is:

BlogHer 2012, the biggest, baddest women's blogging conference in the world, coming back to my home town (NYC) and staring in less than two weeks. And I'm... really not thinking about it much. Too much else on my plate, right now. 

Which is completely ridiculous as this year IS a big deal, or rather it's the biggest deal I'm ever likely to experience at a BlogHer conference as I'm one of the 15 Voice of the Year readers.

That means getting up on the stage and reading in front of 4,000 or so fellow bloggers. (Well, the ones who aren't off at fancy private parties, or glued to their bar stools in the Hilton lounge downstairs, or still stuffing swag into their bags in the Expo Hall, that is.)

And have I bought new clothes, lost twenty pounds, had my front teeth fixed, had my hair professionally dyed and well cut? Um, that would be no. People are going to have to take me as I am, the imperfect semi-disheveled mom of my day-to-day life.

Have I filled out a planning spreadsheet, gotten myself invited to a thousand glittery private parties, set up all my meals with people I need to see? No again. There is just going to have to be a lot of serendipity involved this year.

I have bigger fish to fry.

(My Mother.)

I may even have to miss a part of the conference, as I can't spend five straight days without going to see and take care of my mother, wherever she may be at that point. (Her latest tentative release date from rehab is July 30th, and yet she can't go back to living on her own as she is, and I have no idea how this is going to work out.)

The one thing I am doing is praying hard for no major crisis in any part of my life on August 3rd. I really want to read.

So the shakeout of all this, is that I have neither the time nor inclination to be anxious about BlogHer this year. Not that I was much in other years either (see aforementioned posts, I really don't get the per-conference jitters) but it's possible the whole reading in front of 4000 other (mostly) women thing might have gotten me a little spooked.

But no, I'm just going to show up and... whatever whatever. Because the hamster running on the wheel in my brain is so completely burnt out right now, I have very little capacity for planning anything beyond my next moment. Other than, you know, making sure the kids are properly awakened/fed/medicated/lunch-made/backpack-packed/sunscreened/dropped-off/picked-up/dinner-fed/entertained/medicated/bathed/bedded.

And making sure that this will all still go on smoothly while I'm busy at BlogHer. Because even though I will be sleeping at home? I have warned the family that it is going to be LIKE I am away, so expect me to be completely MIA. But, ha!

Guaranteed I will be called back to duty for some minor emergency or other. (Yes, honey, I still remember that 6am YOUR time, but 3am MY time phone call last year to ask where Jake's lunch box might be kept.)

When I stop to think about it for a minute (pause, OK) I am actually very excited about meeting up with dear friends, old and new, distant and near. I can't wait to see my roommates from last year (The Empress) Alexandra and (Dusty Earth Mom) Shari.

Me with BH11 roomies Alexandra & Shari - the 3 Bloggeteers!

Last year Alexandra was a Voice of the Year reader, and this year, Shari and I BOTH are. We think maybe The Empress was our lucky charm. So if you want to be a reader next year, maybe you should go rub her belly for luck. (My dear Alexandra, if a bunch of women accost you next week, forgive me!)

I am also so excited about meeting up with my autism and other special needs parenting cohort at the Thursday Health Minders Day track for us, about taking care of ourselves as we take care of others. Hmmmm... needed much? (YES! YES! YES!) There are too many names to name here, but you know who you are, my peeps, and I can't WAIT to squeeee with you.

And then there's my Listen to Your Mother clan - both the New York performers & production team and my producing/directing counterparts from around the country. I can't wait to see them all, and especially our fearless leader, Ann Imig.

And if you're going to be at BlogHer, YOU should be sure to come to the Listen to Your Mother Open Mike Salon. It was a highlight of last year's BlogHer and promises to be even better this year!!!

I am also doing a stint hosting the Serenity Suite - come visit me there on Saturday from 12-1 and again from 4-5.

OK, looks like I'm actually getting scheduled up, going to be pretty busy there, after all. (Note to self: remember to make up Jake's thrice daily vitamin & medicine packs to last through next Sunday, TODAY!)

And? If you're at BlogHer and you're my friend?

Please come to the Friday afternoon keynote address and sit front and center, so I can see some familiar faces in that sea of humanity when I'm reading, just in case the nerves DO creep up on me. Okay? Thanks.

Have a happy BlogHer everyone!

p.s. If you get the homage reference in the title of this post: congratulations, you are either of my generation or a film buff.

Hopeful and Grateful and Honored

Yes, it IS the 10th of the month and for once I am actually on time with my post over at Hopeful Parents, where you will find me today, summing up what's been going on with my family lately while looking for things to be grateful for in all the insanity.

So go there and read: Things to be Grateful For


But I also wanted to take this moment to note something really lovely:

I have been chosen as a BlogHer Voice of the Year for 2012. And this year, I am not just an honoree but an actual speaker... Which means I will be READING my selected post in the big Friday evening Voices of the Year keynote address at this summer's BlogHer conference here in New York City on August 3rd.

I remember so well sitting in the audience, listening, rapt in 2010 and 2011; being moved to laughter and tears by so many wonderful, inspiring women and their work.

Last year, my dear friend and BlogHer roommate Alexandra (the Empress) was one of the readers, along with other bloggers, old and new to me, whose voices sang out into the room.

And now this year I, along with so many other wonderful women (and one rather wonderful man: instagram genius, Neil Kramer) will get to return the favor. I feel so honored and thrilled, beyond belief, over the moon. It's a blogging gal's dream come true.

So, if this is such big news, if it's so important, then why have I waited nearly 2 long weeks since the official announcement to tell you all about it? For the same reason everything in my life is deferred at the moment: I got the news while sitting by my mother's bedside in the hospital.

It was less than a week out from the fall, when she was still quite touch and go. The lone bright spot in my rather dark day, I thought "I must write a post about this!" but then it was quickly shoved to the back burner by more pressing issues surrounding my mother.

So I have finally grabbed THIS moment to tell you all. Because those pressing issues? They are not going away any time soon.

And the two sentence update on my mom: Today was yet another long up and down day with her. Mostly down, though by the end there was some peace, as she slept and slept.