Thursday, August 25, 2011

Beside Myself

I am not someone who feels anxiety easily; or often.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that my tolerance for anxiety? Very low.

So on those rare occasions when I DO feel anxious?

I'm a nut. A total blithering mess. Fruit loops.

If I talked to you, or left you a voice message, or sent you an e-mail today, you completely know what I'm talking about.

Yes, today was one such day.

And what has me so cranked up to 11?

The boys are both away at summer camp for the first time this week, so as I'd mentioned, I'm a bit off balance from that.

But what has completely unhinged me is the hurricane thing. Irene. Headed for my fair city of New York as we speak.

And then? Up through New England, like where Jacob is at camp right now, and where I was supposed to have picked him up at about 2 pm on Sunday, which is currently right about the time Irene is predicted to make landfall in the New York area.

So, um, yeah. something's gotta change.

And I leave at 7 AM tomorrow morning to pick up Ethan at HIS camp in Pennsylvania.

We had all sorts of plans and rendezvous with friends planned, and now it's all gone to hell in a handbasket and I'm scrambling to figure out when and how I will be scooping my Jacob boy up and running him back home...

I was going to say "to safety" but really? I'm bringing him home into a category one or two hurricane.

But we live on high ground in a brick building, so I assume we're OK.  And we don't really need to take public transportation anywhere, being in walking distance of so pretty much everything.

And Ethan would love to live on breakfast cereal and cookies and crackers and other such "non-perishable food items" for three days, so that's all good.

But I had things I was supposed to DO today -- enjoy my last day of "empty nest"... clean up my apartment... do laundry... finish my TWO post BlogHer11 posts including my "Secret Style Session" re-cap which is DUE today at the latest.

But all I can do is watch the hurricane updates on TV and my computer, and send nutty emails to Jake's camp director, and call everyone to set up contingency plans and find places to sleep along the route, and mostly spend all my time running "if this, then that, but if this other thing, then that other thing" scenarios through my head.

You ever see a dog who has decided to try to catch his tail and will. not. stop. until he has it in his teeth, spinning faster, ever faster in circles on the rug, as that thing he MUST catch just keeps jumping out of his reach?

Me, today.

My brain on anxiety: not a pretty picture.

I believe the term "hot mess" was coined for such a state.

So ladies of Mom's Fashion File and all your wonderful sponsors, please forgive me for not getting my post in on time. I will try to finish it from the road on Friday, but may be too busy jumping out of my skin while watching CNN. (In the meantime, readers, go read my friend Cheryl's WONDERFUL account of the event here on BlogHer)

OK, time to catch a few hours of shut-eye before I head off to my doom pick up my sons from camp.

I feel sad that I have to pick Jake up early, that he won't get his full week away, but safety first my friends. Safety first.

My tail! I think I've finally got... oh, damn, there it goes again....

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(Hurricane graphic courtesy of US Government NOAA)