And the sad and ironic thing is that I was on my way to see her anyway, yesterday. I was in a taxi, taking Jacob up his doctor's appointment when I realized a message had come in that I hadn't noticed in the hustle and bustle of my early morning.
When I registered that it was from the nurse at Carnegie, I held my breath. It is almost never good news.
A fall... found by aide... ambulance... Mt. Sinai ER.
Not how I was planning to spend the day (or the entire holiday weekend, for that matter). I had been thinking: do Mom's laundry, take her to lunch, give her a manicure. Bur ER bound we were.
I was on pins and needles throughout Jake's appointment, just itching to get. to. the. hospital. Jake was amazing though. He had heard my phone conversations, had understood my explanation that we were NOT going to be visiting Grandma in her home as planned, but instead going to the hospital to see her.
He told everyone at the doctor's office: "My Grandma is in the hospital. She doesn't feel good. We are going to see her to tell her to feel better." (Whoever says autistic kids lack compassion can go suck it.)
And he was great in the two hours he was with me there (until my husband could come to pick him up). He kept telling my mom to "Feel better, Grandma!"
Very shortly after we arrived they wheeled her away for CT scans and X-rays. The doctor prepared me. By the rotation of her leg and the level of her pain, it was certain her hip was either broken or dislocated.
I was praying for dislocation but not feeling hopeful, and sure enough, it was as we'd feared: the top of her femur, the "ball" part of the ball and socket joint that is a hip was broken clear off the rest. She needs surgery to repair it, to place a metal rod in the bone and pins and screws to hold everything in place.
Thank goodness her sense of humor is still intact. Between that and the disinhibiting quality to the morphine that is keeping her out of severe pain, she has been terribly funny.
In the ER, as the nurses were trying to put in a catheter, and she was not quite understanding what they were doing, I heard my mother's voice calling out from behind the curtain: "Varda, why are there women in my vagina?"
When told that she needs to have surgery that involves putting the metal rod and pin in her hip, her reply was: "Then I better find a man with a magnetic penis!"
I hold on to this as I prepare to return to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow, to send my mother off into surgery. there will be more tales to tell, but for now, I am tired. So, goodnight.