Tomorrow I will be rising early (hopefully having slept)...
getting dressed (probably changing my outfit five times in spite of spending hours today trying on everything in my closet and making my "final" wardrobe decision)...
kissing my children goodbye and commending them to the care of others (with instructions: "do not call unless your next call is 911")...
and heading off to the JCC to get things ready for my show.
My. Show. (Just typing those words sends shivers down my spine.)
Yes, tomorrow is THE DAY!
At 2 pm, Listen to Your Mother will be performed for the very first time in New York City, and I am both the producer and a cast member.
And even though I will be speaking words about being a mother and a care-giving daughter, tomorrow (and for months leading up to tomorrow) I will be being more than "just a mom," more than the care-giver-taker person that has been my core identity these ten long years.
It's the start of... something. I don't know exactly what, as unfortunately my perfect-future-vision glasses are on the fritz. Damn. (If they were working I know I could sell glimpses through them to every special needs parent on the planet.)
But I do know it feels good to be working again.
And lord knows my return to work is long overdue, our finances have been stretched beyond their limit for so long I have forgotten what not constantly worrying about money feels like.
But all that will come.
Today I am tying up loose ends. Lining up those last pesky little ducks. Spending time with my kids (haircuts!) Reading over my piece, hoping my words will resonate. Trying on every blouse in my closet.
Tomorrow will be magnificent. (I must remember to breathe.)
We have the most wonderful group of people coming together to share stories from their hearts and guts. It is nothing short of amazing, and if you were lucky enough to score tickets before we sold out you will see for yourself.
(And for those locked out - so sorry - next year we'll be in a bigger venue. Promise.)
I have had the BEST partners in this endeavor (Amy, Holly, Betsy and Ann I mean YOU!)
I love our cast and want them ALL to be my new best friends.
I am anticipating serious postpartum depression to settle in on Monday, as the high of doing this show has been so high I can't even see over the hump of tomorrow.
Thanks for the vast outpouring of well wishes and "break-a-legs" you've been sending my way. Really, without the support and encouragement of you, my friends and readers, I would not have had the gumption to attempt this.
I take all of you with me as I step onto that stage, tomorrow.