Thursday, December 2, 2010

Getting Hip with the (SN Blog) Hop

Last Thursday was Thanksgiving (hope you had a lovely one, we got through ours, so that's a win), so the Special Needs Blog Hop took the day off, and now we're back, and hipper than ever.  Or, if you're like me, the turkey and all the trimmings (pie, mmmm... pie) has added some to the dimension of your hips.

Anyway, here we go again....


This week it’s about turning all the frustrations and negativeness into something positive. What is a recent accomplishment that your child has made?

I can do this!  Because Jacob, even when I'm feeling stuck in the middle of all the fears and frustrations about him, is always full of all kinds of awesome and wonderful. 

OK, here's one... although to many this may sound more like a problem, believe me, it's an accomplishment:

Jacob had started to verbally protest the things he doesn't like in his life.  A  lot.  He has become the king of "No." 

He knows what he wants and doesn't want, and wants US to know it too.  Even when he goes along, he does so under protest. 

Why is this good?  If, like me until recently, you have had a kid on the spectrum who has been too compliant, too unnaturally "good" for his age, you know what I'm talking about, here.

Sweetness and good nature are fine.  But an eight year old who meekly goes along with everything they are asked to do, or who shows his displeasure by getting all spacey/sleepy and shutting down?  Not so good.  In fact, highly untypical.

I should know.  Jake has a twin.  A spunky, opinionated, adorably obstinate, wise-ass twin.  Jake is becoming more like him, in this regard, at last.  God help me.

This has been brewing for a while.  I have written about it before.  But these days?  The spunk is front and center.  So I thought I'd celebrate it here, as an accomplishment.  Because it is one.  Not the most convenient and pleasant development for me, but important for him.  And that's what counts, right?

And also?  Sometimes?  It can be entertaining, when I remember to keep my sense of humor intact.

Jake had me cracking up today.  Once again, he did NOT want to do his homework.  Who wants to do homework?  Not me!  Not his (sort of) typical brother, Ethan, either.  All I have to do is say "Homework Wars" to my mom friends and they all groan in sympathy.

So when Jake gets home and I say: "Homework time, Jake" he says: "No, no homework, Mommy!" and also: "I don't like homework."

Which I acknowledge is his prerogative.   He may protest as much as he wants, can tell me how much he hates it.  But we're still doing homework.

"You are a student.  Doing homework is part of your job, Jake.  Time to do your job."  In spite of his new found spunk, Jacob is still, at heart, a sweet and compliant boy.  So when he sees that, all desire to the contrary, he is not in charge and that homework must be done, he comes to sit at the table, picks up his pencil.

I give him a choice of starting with the math sheet or the writing.  He chooses math, and settles in, I *think* peacefully.  Sure enough, he marches through the problems like a trooper.  But *NOT* like a good soldier.

As always, he narrates the process out loud as he does the math, but this time with a little creativity:

"Seven plus five is... twelve. NO!"

"Four plus four is eight. NO!"

"Fifteen minus nine is... six. NO!"

And so it went.

Yes, a whole page of math problems, punctuated with a loud "NO!" after each correct answer.   Protest duly noted, we went on to the writing sheet.

"What is the dog in the picture doing, Jake?"

"Playing with the boy. NO!"

"OK, write that down.  But let's skip the 'No' part.  OK, honey?"

"Yes. NO!"

It's going to be a long, long evening.

(You go, Jake!)

That's our story.  Now, you jump in & have fun:


  1. Oh, that's priceless.

    Protest duly noted, indeed!

  2. I absolutely agree that protest is a huge accomplishment. I have a friend that was convinced her child was regressing because he started fighting her on everything whereas he was very compliant before. I told her to suck it up 'cause that's progress baby.

  3. That is a accomplishment even with the no. LOL Thanks for joining in the blog hop.

  4. Aw, the big
    NO word.. hope that he finally decided to be a good player and get his work done! :)

  5. That's great, I guess. I suppose I should look at my daughter's defiance as a good thing too! LOL

  6. I totally get it! My daughter learned the word "no" and I was so happy (until she started protesting everything! lol). She's also recently learned "I want (fill in the blank) please." I love it and hate it at the same time. Now she uses a whiny voice or a "I'm Gonna DIE!" voice if she doesn't get what she wants right away. Ah, the joys of special parenthood =)

  7. Yeh...I remember when my twins started saying NO I was so happy because I took it as a sign of their typical development. My daughter didn't say no until almost 4. My personal favorite on this front is that my kid has learned to lie. She used to be honest to a fault. [brother crying] What happened, J? I hit him! - ah! Now it takes a little more effort to get to the truth, but I know this means she now understands that I don't know everything she knows, and even though I miss my honest little girl, I take it as a good sign of...progress.

  8. That is lovely, funny and wonderful at the same time:) Go Jake. Jen

  9. Funny how we get excited when they do some of the things that we really don't want them to do, but we really DO want them to do them because they're so normal. Wait, did that make ANY sense??!!

    Here's my special needs blog hop post:

  10. It is a huge accomplishment. My son is like that, and I love it when he indicates what he would prefer. Hi from the Special Needs Blog Hop.


I am so sorry to have to turn word verification back on, but the spam-bots have found me - yikes!