Tuesday, March 6, 2012

This Space UN-Intentionally Left Blank

Ay yi yai!

Oy Vey!

Yo Ishtenem!

Mea Culpa!

Ay Dios mio!

How do you people with full time jobs AND kids do it?

How do you have the time and energy to blog?

Because for the past 2 weeks my producing work for the Listen to Your Mother Show has been at about the level of a full time job.

And my kids are still, well, my kids, and they want their mom's attention and clean clothes and food when they're hungry and their homework (oh, god, the homework!) checked. Well actually, no, they want to be allowed to NOT do the homework, but that's not going to happen.

But still, you know what I'm saying. I am busier than ever, and with all sorts of stuff I have to take care of for my ACTUAL mother, too. (Banking! Doctor Appointments! HER Laundry! Social Security Office - AGAIN!)

And then there's always the Autism factor. (How could I forget the Autism time tax? Just estimate however long you think something is going to take, and then double or triple it. And do that again. Now you're close.)

So my blog, my writing? Suffering dearly.

Half written posts in my queue? Yup, dozens.

Anything close to being able to be actually sent out into the world with the touch of a "publish" button? Hardly.

I have written wonderful, beautiful posts... entirely in my head in the shower.  And then never gotten them to screen or paper. (Yes, I actually do sometimes write on physical paper and then transfer into digital words. Fancy that!)

One advantage of being out in the world interacting with adults: I shower daily once again (they can no longer smell me from Jersey).

Another advantage? Not only do I have no time and mental space to write, I also have no time to obsessively check my blog stats. I simply could not tell you how many people have visited my blog in the last day, or even week. And that? Is frankly a relief.

That said, however, as much as I feel expanded by all this exciting producing stuff, I also feel diminished in that my writing is clogging up inside me once again, an expressive and creative logjam.

I've had struggles with blogging before, had fallow times. But this time around, it's not so much about losing my writing mojo, as getting filled up by the words tumbling around inside me, the pressure building up with no release in sight. (And don't go where that image takes you, okay? Just. don't.)

I am suddenly understanding my friends who regularly write compact, sweet, 300 word posts. It takes less time!

So, as I can see no relief coming in the near future, and I hate how s-l-o-w-l-y my archive is filling up (it's the 6th of the month and this is only my 3rd post - and it's not much of a post), I am just going to have to try harder to get something - anything- up here. And maybe write those short, pithy posts that have eluded me in the past.

And since this has all been so much something about pretty much nothing; a self-referential rumination; a curved, tail-biting snake, circling itself round and round - I will leave you with a little actual something... the song that's been playing in my head these days, my personal soundtrack.

And yes, I HAVE been feeling like a Muppet of a (wo)Man lately.

See you back here tomorrow folks, hopefully with a little something something.

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