Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A serving of shameless self-promotion with a little guilt on the side.

Hello there, friends.

I'm really not good at this.

The business side of bloggy things. The razzle and the dazzle. The self-promotion machine that I am supposed to be.

I'd really just rather be writing. Writing about autism, my mom, my kids, my dead father; pretty much anything else. But I've been told this needs to be done. I need to "promote" myself and my blog.

But you know? I'd really just rather be writing.

But also, the bald truth? I like readers.

I know I'm supposed to say I'm an artist, that I would write even if I had one reader, that I write for myself. And to some extent that's true.

But also? Pure balderdash.

This is a blog, not a journal. It's called "Social Media" after all. I want people to read me. For what is an over-sharer with no one to share with?

So, one cup of shameless self-promotion coming up......

OK, I'm Jewish, I'm a mom. Jewish moms are notoriously famous for successfully employing guilt as a motivating factor, so let me try that one out on you folks here:

Darlings, I don't ask for much do I? I don't. No, nothing at all, not ever.

And me? All I do is give to you. Give, give, give.

So, could you please, just this once, do a little favor for me? Just this one little, two little things?

After all, I carried you around inside my body for nine long months, fed you from my very own breasts... no wait, I think I'm getting confused here...

Let's try that again... attitude change...

Yo, peeps, let's DO this thing, OK?

Takes like about two seconds, maybe 10... OK, a minute, tops. EASY stuff: no signing up, no signing in, just clickety, click, click. Done!

FIRST, Facebook: Find my Box...

(Take your mind out of the gutter. Yes, YOU, I heard that thought.) 

Look over on the sidebar on the right (no, your other right) yes, THERE.  The box that says "Find us on Facebook" on the top. It looks like this:

Now, here comes the tricky part:  Click the "like" button.

(Unless you don't like my blog. And then, um, why are you here?) 

Yes, that's it! Done! Voila! Yay, you!



Babble, babble, babble. They seem not to know I exist. This irks me.

Recently, in honor of Autism Awareness Month, they came up with a list of "Top 25 Autism Spectrum Blogs."

I like this. I commend this. I would like it better if I were ON that list.

Now, don't get me wrong, 25 wonderful bloggers were on that list.  They are fabulous, many are my friends. I don't begrudge them their seat at the table, not for even one instant.

But the list needs to be longer. At least 26. (But probably more like 50, since off the top of my head I can easily name at least 20 others who are wonderful and should be noted, too.)

And here's where you come in... you can help correct this! Let Babble know I exist! Tell them I'm an autism blogger to be reckoned with!  (I know, I don't have autism in the title of my blog. Did I mention I'm really bad at marketing and self promotion?)

Here's how: Go HERE.  Find ME.

(I'm sorry I can't tell you exactly where I will be, am currently #13 on the nomination list, but you should be able to move me up. It shouldn't be hard to find me -- "The Squashed Bologna," remember?)

Next... wait for it...  Click the "I Like This" button (yes, the one with the thumbs-up icon below it).

Once again: Ta-da! You are done! Sheer simplicity!

That's all folks. About a minute of your time, and you have helped a blogger out. Feel good about yourself, you've been a good friend today.

And? A great big THANK YOU. From me to you. You rock! You're the best! (No, really, YOU are.)

(And Tomorrow? Back to our regularly scheduled program.) 

Finally... just an observation: I think I have used more parenthetic clauses in this post than any other yet.

Yay Me! Earning my title: "Queen of the Run-On Sentence (with parenthetic clauses)" honestly.

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