Thursday, April 21, 2011

A is for Autism

A is for Autism.

For April is Autism Awareness Month.

A is also for awesome, like my son Jacob, a nearly nine year-old boy, with autism.

Jake is also astonishing, admirable and amazing. And that's just the "A"s.

He is, in fact, a whole alphabet soup of cool...

beautiful, charming, dynamic, engaging, fabulous, giggly, huggable, impressive, joyful, kissable, loving, marvelous, notable, outstanding, peachy, quick, remarkable, smart, terrific, unique, vivacious, wondrous, exuberant, yummy, and zestful.

And then he is also, at times...  

anxious, bouncy, confused, disconsolate, exhausting, fearful, growling, hellacious, impulsive, jarring, klutzy, loud, maniacal, nervous, overwhelming, puzzling, quixotic, relentless, self-directed, tangled, unhappy, vociferous, wretched, excessive, yawing, and zoned-out.

This is his autism. Our autism. Autism as we know it.

Different for everyone, this is Jacob's particular flavor.

Some days it's the sauce on the side and some days it's the whole meal.  Some days tangy, others bitter.

But it is always a part of who Jake is.

I always see the beauty and value of my son.

Some days I can see how his autism is a part of that beauty, giving him his unique vision; what some have called the gifts of autism.

Other days he is so unhappy, actively in distress, and all I can see is how it causes him pain, confusion, unwanted isolation.

And then I am mad at autism, which is fruitless, like being mad at the wind. But still, I am.

I am aware of autism every day.

It is our life.

And now, so are you, maybe, a little bit more.

This post has been inspired by and linked up to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday writing meme. And choosing an "A" word, for me? Now, THAT was a no-brainer if ever there was one.

I'm also linking this post up to Shell's Pour Your Heart Out linky at Things I Can't Say

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