Friday, September 23, 2011


Yes, I know that elderly widows outnumber elderly widowers on an order of perhaps ten to one. Or more. And I know that elderly widowers who are not terminally crotchety or hideously homely have ladies ten, twenty years their junior circling like bees 'round the hive. Carrying casseroles.

But, still... my lovely, loving, eminently lovable, recently widowed 89 year-young mother is lonely. She likes male companionship. A friend to laugh with, to watch old movies with.

My mother wants a man. Someone to grow older with. To spoon with, a counterweight on the other, colder side of the big bed.

But I must warn: my father was a hard act to follow. You’ll need a sharp brain, good taste, a lively sense of humor, exercised daily.

And? Mom sits on the decidedly arty, bohemian side of the fence. Conservatives need not apply. Some time spent on the couch would be helpful.

Also note: she will not be cooking any casseroles. She WILL whip up a nice cup of hot cocoa in the microwave, and order up a mean takeout, like the true New Yorker that she is.

Speaks a bissel Yiddish, but loves her lobster; would be folk dancing if her knees worked better. Feisty, genuine, she’s the polar opposite of a little old lady. Curses like a sailor, loves babies and puppies and Matisse. Also? Mash reruns, exotic cuisines, fireflies and full moons.

She is kind to strangers, endlessly curious, and will beat the pants off you in a friendly game of anagrams.

If you don’t have passion for life? Don’t bother calling. There's snow on the roof, but still flaming bright embers in her heart.

That's my Mom. She's still got some kick in her yet, nowhere near ready for the bucket.

So if you're a New York gentleman of a certain age who fits this bill? Don't be a stranger. Get in touch. And consider yourself a lucky, lucky man.

This post is based on the prompt, “Write a personal ad, looking for love for your character or someone in your life” from Write on Edge. I didn't think I was going to do the prompt this week, was drawing a blank. Then I spoke to my mother today, and it came to me in a flash.

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