Thursday, November 11, 2010

And the Hop goes on...

Thursday again, and I'm hopping away on the:
This week, there is not so much a question to answer as a direct command: "Tell us a funny memory involving your child or children." (or we make you walk the plank?)

OK then, nothing like being asked to produce funny on the spot that is nearly guaranteed to freeze me up in my place. (OK, yeah you have figured out that my M.O. with these things is to complain about the meme in a funny way for a long time, and then comply with it.  Leave a girl her dignity and pretend you didn't notice, okay?)

Funny, OK, funny... holy crapola, batman, my mind is a total blank. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation... eight bloody years of one ASD early-riser coupled with an ADD late-to-bed insomniac yakking away at midnight have taken their toll.  My brain is not what it used to be, the steel trap has transformed into leaky sieve.

So many stories swirling round my brain... but this one has sparkled and caught my mind's eye:

My father passed away in mid March of this year.  Instead of holding a funeral at the time, we had him cremated (according to his wishes) and then, a few weeks later, we held a memorial gathering to celebrate his life and his work, and also the 93rd birthday he nearly made it to.  This was also according to his wishes, matching his upbeat, larger-than-life personality.  He wanted a festive gathering in his honor, he wanted a party, so we gave him one.

On March 28th, nearly a hundred family members and friends, residents and staff of the assisted living community where he and my mother lived gathered in the common room to celebrate my dad.  I needed for my kids to be there, to see family, to say goodbye to their Grandpa, to remind their sad, sad Grandma that life goes on.  But I was worried about Jacob and his ability to sit still and remain quiet while I gave the main eulogy at the start of the event.

Turns out I was worrying needlessly.  Jake sat right in front of me, next to my husband, and throughout my long eulogy he remained quiet as a mouse, not even a peep, his eyes trained on me the whole time.  I guess I gave quite a performance, because when I finished the crowd applauded (which embarassed me thoroughly).

Seeing all the people around him clapping for his mother, Jake joined in enthusiastically, then upped the ante by encouraging me with a shouted out: "Great job, Mom!"

A wave of laughter spread through the room, and it was just what we needed to start up the next part of the day: everyone sharing our funny stories and memories of Dad, including retelling all his favorite, awful, pun-filled jokes.  See?  Sometimes it's good to have someone who is completely unaware of the social rules with you, to shake things up a bit.

I was so proud of my son for his ability to find his calm listening space, and for showing his support for me so vocally at the end.  You, rocked, Jakey!  (Ethan, on the other hand, played his DS throughout the event, but I'm guessing that was his way of keeping the scary, sad feelings comfortably at bay.)

So now, come hop along with me....


  1. I guess you wound up not using my joke, but if anyone wants to see my favorite joke about Asperger's Syndrome, it's at

  2. Oh my goodness; that's precious!! What a great memory to have.

    My other kids helped me with "memories", since mine is shot also.

    Hi from the blog hop :).

  3. That is a lovely memory, especially as it was from such a sad event. What a boy :) Jen (visiting from SN bloghop)

  4. you never really know when they'll surprise us!!

    stopping by from the blog hop!

  5. Sometimes those spontaneous words that come out are just what was needed.

    Stopped by from the Special Needs Blog Hop

  6. Yeah, they can be quite the ice breakers sometimes. My father just passed away in August and I really wrestled with home much to involve my daughter. Sounds like your son handled it spectacularly!

  7. PS: stopping by from the SN Blog Hop!!

  8. Young kids are wonderful, they are so authentic and uninhibited but then they grow up. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful story of how each of your children coped. Nice memories! Visiting from the SN blog hop.

  9. From the sound of it, I bet your father would have loved that.

  10. What a sweet memory! It's funny how children's "inappropriatisms" can sometimes be the most appropriate of all. (And I think I just invented a new word!)I'm going to link up and pop in to read the stories in this hop!

  11. Doing the blog hop thang!

    What a great story! I can't believe I haven't followed you yet. This has gotta change!

  12. That's great! It sounds like he really helped make the day better for everyone.

  13. What a great job he did (and you)! Visiting from SN blog hop.

  14. What a good boy! I love it when we prepare for the worst and the best happens instead!

    blog hop

  15. What a great ice breaker. I would have been proud too :) Thanks for joining in the special needs blog hop this week.


I am so sorry to have to turn word verification back on, but the spam-bots have found me - yikes!