New Years Resolution: Clean Up My Act

In case you thought I was kidding about the "mountain of laundry" - JUST the boys' stuff.

I'm terrible at these things. I don't really make official "New Years Resolutions" because I know they'll be broken before the week's end. But there is one thing I absolutely MUST do this year -  which is clean my shit up.

I am not a naturally organized or tidy person and neither is my husband. Together we're a disaster. And I hate the way our cluttered, messy home looks and impacts our kids. ("Wait a minute honey, we can't leave for school yet because your mother needs to find this very important paper in that pile of chaos over there.")

And this year I really NEED to do something about that. So of course, I turned to the internet for help.

I am NOT a "Flylady" type. I get hives just stopping by that site. But Joslyn of stark. raving. mad. mommy. is my type of woman, and she, in her own, likewise ADD-rific whirlwind of disorganization put out the call for help to her readers (Please Help Me: My New Year's Resolution is to Get Organized).

One of them pointed to this site:  Unfuck Your Habitat (or UfYH for those who don't like to curse - obviously not me). Their tagline is: "Terrifying motivation for lazy people with messy homes" - PERFECT!

I also like their attitude, which is small goals, work for 20 minute chunks, then do 10 minutes of something else. Try for multiple rounds (but if one is all you can do at first, it's OK) and do it EVERY DAY.

From their site: "We deserve to live somewhere with nice things we love, and to have a clean, calm place to be, when we’re not at work or school or any of the fifty zillion other places we go."

AND: "...it’s about motivation, and support, and accountability."

And it's not just about housekeeping, it's universal: "And our homes aren’t the only things that need to be unfucked. Our finances, our jobs, our relationships: there’s no end to the things we can fuck up. The important thing to remember is that there is nothing that can’t be unfucked. You just have to do it." 

So I've found my guru. The kind of inspiration I can live with: ironic, realistic. Written by my people for my people (messy, disorganized, drowning in inertia) with the simple credo of: Do. Something.

And that I can live with.

And I'm starting today. Just 20 minutes, right?

(After I get the laundry put away - TODAY, I promise!)

Happy 2013!

New Year's Fireworks in NZ by Neil Kramer

Happy New Year, Friends!

Also?

The kids go back to school, the kids go back to school, the kids go back to school!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I have loved much of my vacation time with the kids.

We went to my in-laws house in the country, we skied (well, some of us did), we sledded, we made a snowman, we drove in a blinding snowstorm in our decidedly NON-4-wheel-drive ancient Toyota and lived to tell the tale.

We came back to the city and went to movies and museums and watched WAY too much TV and made lots of cookies and popcorn.

But enough is enough.

I am dreading the rise tomorrow morning at 0-dark-hundred and the fight with Jake to get ready and down to the bus on time, but thrilled with the idea of a few blessed hours in the day to not be the cruise director and referee so that I can GET THINGS DONE.

Really, the laundry pile is close to the ceiling.

(Don't you wish you had my exciting life?)

Also? I really need to start writing again. Real things, not just lists and round-ups. Because as much as I love to obsess reflect on the past, it's time to turn my eyes forward and look towards the horizon.

2013... what will you bring?

Hope it's good stuff for you all, my friends.

2012 Round-up: What I Loved on OTHER People's Blogs

Walking into the Light by Neil Kramer

Well, I so enjoyed doing my 2011 Round-Up last year that I decided to make an annual tradition of it... gathering together some of the fabulous blog posts I've found on OTHER people's blogs, the ones that have moved me to laughter, tears, astonishment, or action (possibly all four) and sharing them with you all.

So right away, at the beginning of 2012, I started making note of posts I liked, thinking all I would have to do at the end of the year was hit "publish."  But then I found that in January alone I'd picked twelve great posts, and realized I would have a list of well over a hundred by the year's end.

Thus the monthly Round-Up feature on my blog was born.

But this... THIS HERE is the big guns, the annual version!

Enhanced this year with photos by my very, very, very favorite intstagram photographer, Neil Kramer - of the blog  Citizen of the Month - who I am also very happy to call my friend. He lives in both NYC and LA and also travels a good bit, so prepare to be amazed and amused.

Standing by Fountain by Neil Kramer

Once again, please note that this is an idiosyncratic, quirky and very, VERY incomplete list. (Because you are not going to slog through the 150 or so posts I gathered in my monthly Round-Ups in one sitting now, are you?)

Also, once again, if you know I love you and you're not on the list this year? Please know that there were so many, many more posts I adored, but at a certain point I just had to stop myself cold turkey. Because I HAD to finish this round-up and not keep opening it up again whilst slapping myself upside the head and declaring: "How could I have forgotten to include THAT amazing post!" and stuffing yet another in.

So please feel free to add a link to your one of your favorite 2012 posts in the comments section!

Note that some of these are repeats from my monthly Round-Ups, but many are new - posts that I wanted to include in a round up but the list was too long already, or I already had chosen another post by the same writer, or a gem of a post I discovered belatedly, from earlier in the year.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order, some wonderful posts and images from 2012 for your edification and enjoyment:

Coney Island by Neil Kramer

We Can Become Known from Elan/Schmutzie of Schmutzie

Too Vast a Project by Adrienne of No Points for Style

Scars and Scars by Sarah of Sarah Piazza

Cloudy Afternoon by Neil Kramer

For the Record by Anna of An Inch of Gray

Tragedy by Maggie May of Flux Capacitor 

Mother & Child Are Linked At The Cellular Level by Laura of Laura Grace Weldon

Trees, Georgia by Neil Kramer

Rocking my inner Israeli Ke$ha by Sarah at The Times of Israel blog   

I wish I was a Stepford Wife by Candi of Looking for Blue Sky

The Thing About Autism by Kyra of Kyra Anderson 5.0

Raindrops by Neil Kramer

An open letter to all parents from a non-parent. from Emelia of Trying to be good

Thanks Giving 101 by (The Empress) Alexandra of Good Day Regular People

I debated whether or not to share this story. by UnWinona of {UnWinona}

Tilted Tree by Neil Kramer

Newsflash: There Are No Autistic Behaviours by Bec of Snagglebox

Aspie Like Me: A Diagnosis Story from Jean (Stimey) of Stimeyland 

As You Are: An Open Letter to My Son by Leigh of Flappiness Is...  at ChildsWork's ChildsPlay Blog

Swings by Neil Kramer

There are places I remember from Ellen of Love That Max

the noise of life by Jessica of Four plus an angel at mamalode

Grace, via jump rope by Mir of Woulda Coulda Shoulda 

Cat by Neil Kramer

The fight goes on. from Jenny, the Bloggess of The Bloggess

free pass by Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary

Home from Alysia of Try Defying Gravity

Tree in Cemetery by Neil Kramer

Scent of cardinals by Kris of Pretty All True 

The Advantages Of Being Never Not Broken. by Eden of Edenland

i see myself from Jess of a diary of a mom

Car by Neil Kramer

Dick Cheney's First Heart from Deb of Deb on the Rocks

Secrets of the Traveling Va-Jay-Jay from Kate of Diary of a Return-to-Work Mom 

Why I Still Blog by Tanis of Attack of the Redneck Mommy

Aaaaaaand that's all folks! Happy reading and Happy New Year!

A Sunset, New Zealand by Neil Kramer

I am so looking forward to reading everyone's wonderful fresh words and seeing Neil's new photos in the coming year!

The Reading Chair by Neil Kramer

December Round-Up: What I Loved on OTHER People's Blogs

Nightfall, New Zealand by Neil Kramer

Welcome to the December edition of my monthly "What I Loved on OTHER People's  Blogs" feature. The place where I share what has caught my eye (and brain, and heart) on the internet over the past month.

Also, as usual, I am featuring many photos from my friend and amazing intstagram photographer Neil Kramer - of the blog  Citizen of the Month - who took a December trip to New Zealand (of all places) and is sending back beautiful photos of the place, as well as his stop in Australia along the way.

Opera House, Sydney, Australia by Neil Kramer

So, without further ado... December's gems:

Newtown: On Guilt, Grief, and Gratitude by Jo of A Sweet Dose of Truth

Peace, Love and Understanding by Alysia of Try Defying Gravity

My Hope for Newtown by Deborah of MaNNaHaTTaMaMMa

Little Girl Running Towards the Water, Sydney, Australia by Neil Kramer

How We Do It, Part XX in a series by Elizabeth of a moon, worn as if it had been a shell

I'm jealous of you. by Lexi of Mostly True Stuff

The Gifts We Receive by Jim of Just a Lil' Blog at ChildsWork's ChildsPlay Blog

Tree, New Zealand by Neil Kramer

When It's Not Norman Rockwell by (The Empress) Alexandra of Good Day Regular People 

The art of a well secured mitten by Stacey of Is There Any Mommy Out There?

One more thing about Chanukah by Deborah of Peaches & Coconuts

Juli's son Sam. Morning, New Zealand by Neil Kramer

Dreams of a New World… by Ariane of Emma's Hope Book

A Christmas Miracle by Tracy of Sellabit Mum

A perfect nonsensible pair by Kris of Pretty All True
 

Christmas Caroler, Los Angeles by Neil Kramer

And, last but not least, a bit of holiday cheer (this being December and all)...

The Seventh Annual Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert! by Neil of Citizen of the Month

Finally, as has been my habit for a while now, I am leaving you with a vertical triptych of photos from Neil. I really love finding 3 images that work together this way...

Photos by Neil Kramer

Best Bologna of 2012

Well, it's become an end of the year tradition now - third year in a row - ye olde Recap Post... wherein I reflect on the past year here at The Squashed Bologna and bring you my favorite posts from each month.

2012 has been a fairly intense, challenging year for me. My mother's fall in late May, and the radical change in her circumstances that rolled out from that being at the center of most of it.

It was hard to choose again this year...

The popular posts or the sleepers? The "big thoughts" or the quiet moments? Heavy posts about my mother or sweet ones about my kids? The challenges or the gifts of Jacob's autism? My best writing or the most interesting events?

Some months I couldn't pick just one, so there's a few doubles. And that's ok, because, well, my blog, my rules, right? Who says it HAS to be only one post per month? (Not me.)

So, without further ado...

Here are some of my favorite Squashed Mom posts from 2012:

January: Monday Listicles: 10 Things I Have Done to Make a Living {A funny annotated list of the many and sundry odd - and I jobs I have held in my long life}

February: A Full Moon for Susan {My goodbye to the wonderful Susan Niebur  - aka WhyMommy - who died of metastatic inflammatory breast cancer, celebrating her life and work} 

and 10 years ago today... {Looking back at my then pregnant self, realizing I had NO CLUE how much and in what ways my life was going to change}

March: Planets {Taking a walk with Ethan and reflecting on my children's distant, fratious relationship.}

April: Words {Reflecting on the power of words in our lives. Especially destructive ones - like "Retard"} 

May: The Dress {Cleaning out my closet, coming upon a dress I wore at a significant point in my life, and telling a tale from the beginning of my IVF pregnancy}

and Perspective {Sitting by my mother's side in the ICU puts everything else in my life into perspective.}

June: My Heart, Her Heart {Caring for my mother through her recovery, and adjusting - or not - to her new diminished circumstances}

July: The living and the dying {Reflections on my mother and my aunt: old women near the end of life.)

August: Full Circles {Dropping Jacob off for a week of SN Summer camp - at the same camp I attended as a 14 year old. Looking backwards and forwards in wonder.}

September: Picures and Stories {A smiling picture of Jake on a boat, and then the story of his horrific autistic meltdown five minutes later. The difference between pictures and stories.}

and Hunger {A funny memory of my last trip to LA while pregnant with the twins, when my access to food got compromised - my Yom Kippur post.}

October: Her way home {A poignant post about my fading mother and her struggles.}

November: Survivor Guilt {NYC got socked by a hurricane and my family suffered not one bit. And therefore I felt terrible.}

December: This is Jacob. This is autism. {My contribution to the wonderful "Autism Shines" campaign / Facebook page to counter the autism negativity fallout from Newtown.}

And that's the year that was!

Well... not entirely.  Looking over these posts, I realized there is much missing from this recap. Because I have chosen to go pretty much with the "best writing"  side of things, there are quite a few key events in my life not covered in here, as my posts regarding them were more reportage than literary, and thus didn't make it onto this list.

So I think I need yet another re-cap post about my LIFE in 2012 -- including things like my producing  the first annual New York City Listen to Your Mother Show, my reading as a Voice of the Year at BlogHer this past summer, the boys turning 10, etc., etc.

Tomorrow, peeps...

And until then?

Sending my wishes out to you all for the happiest of all possible New Years, and a 2013 that is wonderful and either wild or peaceful (depending on your preference), exceeding your wildest dreams.

Linking this post up at:

Photo credits: Spiral Galaxy by Calar Alto Observatory via NASA

Autism Shines On

Only a few days old, the Autism Shines Facebook page (with a website soon to come) has now touched thousands of lives. I am happy and proud to have been a part of this from the beginning.

Because my boy? He so shines. With love and joy and happiness. With the light of a thousand suns.

Is he decidedly different? You betcha. So what?

I adore every atom of his being. He owns my heart.

Come see my son amidst his people.

Come see all these beautiful autistic folks with their spirits shining through.

Share your own photos.

And let me leave you with one more image, something to remind us how silly it is to make assumptions about people merely because of a diagnosis on the autism spectrum...

This is Jacob. This is autism.

I know I have fallen silent here again. This time it's because I have been overwhelmed by the fallout from the events of the past week. Newtown.

There has been a misguided media feeding frenzy focused on a possible autism diagnosis of the shooter, and erroneous speculation that autism was behind Adam Lanza's heinous acts.

There is much destructive misinformation spreading around the world.

Ignorant, spiteful people have created hate sites about how autism = violence, and proclaiming that autistic people are monsters who should all be rounded up and jailed or exterminated.

I can't...

I just can't...

I can't even breathe when I think about this.

I have not been able to write about it yet, finding myself just too devastated, frightened and overwhelmed to form a cohesive sentence. (Hence the radio silence.)

But many many friends of mine have been writing, voices of love and light to meet and answer the tide of fear hate.

For starters, read these, here:

A letter to Elisabeth J.A. by Jillsmo

My Son Has Autism. Please Don’t Be Afraid. by Jo Ashline

When Children Die, It’s Time to Grieve and to Reflect, Not to Scapegoat by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

And also a movement sprang up, a photo meme: "This is Autism" - to put a face to autism as we know it, with words describing some of the wonderful, quirky, delightful people who are on the autism spectrum. Parents are sharing their children, adult advocates are introducing themselves.

And that I could do; thus this picture, with these words.

And we're all sharing it here, on the Autism Shines facebook page.

Come, see the beautiful shining faces of so many of us and our children. Share your own images. Meet some people with autism who are not violent scary monsters, but our wonderful children and our wonderful selves.

OK, I realize if you're a reader of my blog, I'm probably preaching to the converted, but please share this page widely and maybe it will reach someone who needs to hear it.

Peace to you all. More words here soon.